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When a child faces repeated difficulties recognising and writing words or characters, many parents feel anxious or worried and may even wonder whether their teaching approach is at fault. The challenges of dyslexia can place substantial learning pressure on the child and create stress for the family. Repeated reminders about schoolwork, together with the child’s and parents’ fluctuating mood, may gradually affect what was once a close family relationship.

Drawing on psychological and medical perspectives, this article offers Hong Kong parents a practical support guide. It explains how to understand dyslexia, manage stress appropriately, and help a child build confidence and realise their learning potential in an environment characterised by understanding, encouragement and support.

Understanding Dyslexia: A Difference in Learning, Not Intelligence
When parents first learn that their child may have dyslexia, they often ask, “Is my child not intelligent enough?” In fact, medical and educational psychology research indicates that students with dyslexia have normal intelligence.

Dyslexia is mainly associated with differences in how the brain’s structure and functions process written language. This can lead to difficulties with phonological awareness, the structure of written forms and reading comprehension. Dyslexia can also occur in children with high intelligence. Parents should therefore move beyond the belief that poor academic performance means a child has no future and recognise that the child may simply need a learning approach that differs from traditional methods.

Sources of Parental Stress Associated with Children’s Specific Learning Difficulties
In Hong Kong’s highly competitive educational environment, many parents feel intense pressure not to let their children “fall behind at the starting line”. When a child repeatedly performs poorly in dictation, takes a long time to complete homework, or frequently forgets how to write familiar words or characters, parents may understandably feel anxious, worried or angry about the child’s learning performance.

The Vicious Cycle of Emotional Distress
When parents struggle to manage these negative emotions, homework supervision can easily escalate into raised voices or harsh comments such as “Why are you so lazy?” or “You still don’t understand no matter how many times I teach you.” Some children with dyslexia may be particularly sensitive to negative comments. Persistent criticism is unlikely to improve academic performance and may instead increase frustration, self-doubt and emotional distress. The child may become even more resistant to learning, ultimately affecting the parent–child relationship.

How Parents Can Manage Their Own Stress When Helping a Child with Dyslexia
Supporting a child with dyslexia is often more emotionally demanding than many parents expect. Their learning progress can feel slow, setbacks are common, and the pressure of daily practice easily builds into frustration. Learning how to handle these emotional challenges is an important skill for parents as this can make a real difference for both parent and child during the learning progress.

• Accept the situation and adjust expectations: let go of constant comparisons with other children and recognise that each child starts from a different place. Shift the focus from “achieving high marks” to “making a little progress each day”.
• Notice your own emotions: when you feel close to losing control, take several deep breaths or step away briefly.  Leave the scene for a few minutes and tell your children you will be back. This physical break reduces intensity and helps you to calm down
• Reserve personal time for yourself: Regularly setting aside even short periods of personal time, such as taking a short break to listen to music after the child go to bed or do a brief activity that makes you feel restorative. 

Practical Home Training and Ways to Rebuild a Close Parent–Child Relationship
A trusting relationship is fundamental to helping a child overcome learning challenges. Parents can use the following approaches to make learning more relaxed and engaging:

1. Tandem Reading
   Use a “parent–child–parent” reading sequence: the parent reads first, the child follows, and the parent reads the passage once more. Offer specific verbal praise during the process, such as “You recognised the words more quickly today than yesterday.” This can help reduce frustration and support a positive attitude towards learning.

    

2. Strength-based Approach
   Children with dyslexia may demonstrate particular strengths in creativity, spatial awareness or interpersonal communication. Parents can arrange non-academic activities together—such as sport, art or hiking—to discover these strengths and offer timely affirmation, helping to build the child’s confidence and a healthy parent–child relationship.

Conclusion and Professional Support
Caring for a child with special learning needs is a long journey requiring patience and companionship, but parents do not have to face it alone. Seeking professional help at the appropriate time can support the development of an individualised educational and treatment plan for the child while also providing parents with emotional support and guidance.

Union Hospital’s psychology and speech therapy team provides professional assessments and related support, including dyslexia assessment and individually tailored training. If parents find that the pressures of caregiving are becoming difficult to manage, or if a child shows learning or emotional difficulties, our clinical psychologists and speech therapists can offer appropriate support and work alongside the family as the child develops.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is dyslexia caused by a child being unintelligent or lazy?
   Dyslexia is a common specific learning difficulty and is not related to intelligence. It is mainly associated with innate differences in the cognitive processes used by the brain to handle written language. Children with dyslexia are not lazy; they simply need different learning strategies.

    

2. How can a parent’s negative emotions affect a child with dyslexia?
   Children with dyslexia may be sensitive to emotional cues. Parental criticism and anxiety can be transferred to the child, contributing to low self-esteem, insecurity and a greater risk of emotional distress, while affecting trust and interaction within the parent–child relationship.

    

3. How much time should be spent on home training each day?
   Quality matters more than quantity. Consider arranging approximately 15 to 20 minutes of focused training each day using game-based methods. Prolonged, forced copying may instead provoke resistance and be counterproductive.

    

4. What should parents avoid during shared reading?
   Parents should avoid dismissing the child’s emotions, shouting at or physically punishing the child, requiring the child to speed-read, or comparing the child with higher-achieving siblings or classmates.

    

5. What support does Union Hospital provide for special learning needs?
   Union Hospital provides dyslexia assessment and related literacy training, as well as psychological support to help children manage academic stress and emotional concerns. Emotional support and family therapy are also available for parents experiencing substantial stress. 

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